Blabbering

Hello my lovely readers!

I have so much to say but life has been uneventful so far, well apart from one or two things I guess. Like, I got a new therapist and we are working our way through. I had another exam which I won’t pass and I am glad that I won’t. I am sure I would have hated the job. But money is a powerful tool to execute certain desires so I am a bit…you can phrase, bummed.

Still, this time I am not hopeless. I know I am getting there slowly. Meanwhile I am writing this piece. ‘Dad by day’ by Bruno Sanfilippo is playing on this Spotify playlist. I have no idea who he is but I like the tune. It feels like watching the ripples in river water in the morning sunlight. A bit sad though, but that is the beauty of it I think.

This evening I was just in my room sitting on my bed and looking through the window watching bats fly away across the sky, their party time! A strange question came to my mind, do bats get depression?

Is there anything called a sad bat?

What if I was a bat?

Would I be called a sad bat?

Mind boggling ugh!

When I am sad and I want to be nothing then I want to be everything that I can’t be. Depression sometimes feels like a disease of the soul. One moment you want to paint your nails blood red and the next moment you might want those same nails draw your own blood. Like a vampire.

Things are getting very morbid oh God. Ok so where was I? Um… Yeah when I was wondering my possibilities of being a depressed bat woman my father entered the room with coffee and nice biscuits and my philosophical quest was silenced. We chatted about nice things.

P.S. I did paint my nails blood red! I have a date tomorrow. This time he asked me out.